Faithful Friday: Love is Patient

The Bible continues to amaze me in its richness.  One day I may read only the surface of the text, gobble up whole passages and chapters.  Another day I’m gripped by a single verse or single word.  As language evolves it’s easy to take for granted the word choice, and oh so beneficial to take a closer look at those familiar paragraphs that are almost cliché.

Lately I’ve had the conviction to study, really study 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.  We hear these verses so often at weddings: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 

Be truthful, did you skip the passage?  Skim it?  Droningly reread it for the umpteenth time?  I often have, until recently as the Spirit’s lead me to really re-examine what it means to love. 

Love is one of the most precious and sought after commodities, yet our fast paced and ego-driven society has cheapened it and all too often settles for likeability.  Love connotes unconditional acceptance: benevolence despite differing views, continual forgiveness, and self-sacrifice.  Oh how we long to be loved, and how we are overwhelmed to realize that to truly receive love means we must fully give love and therefore give of ourselves.  For if we do not return love we are either guilted by how much we owe or socially shamed by how we take advantage.

It’s tempting then, to settle for being liked, to seek approval instead of acceptance because it’s easier to be surrounded by people one likes.  There’s no commitment in liking things and therefore it is easier to move on when faced with disagreement, offense, or discord.  Instead of suffering through the discomfort of being out of sync or even disliked {ouch} by former companions, one is free to disengage and move on, citing irreconcilable differences.

Paul, however, timelessly urges us to remember God’s definition of love.  After some {uncharacteristically lengthy} reflection, I suspect he chose his word order carefully, citing patience before kindness.  I can think of several ulterior motives to be kind to others, but patience?  Patience without love seems frighteningly deviant and conniving.  Patience is hard, difficult to recognize within others; we so often equate it with slowness and the passage of time.  Kindness has more overt actions like charity, activism, and friendliness that are easily recognized.  It’s easy to claim someone is a “good person” because of his or her actions: charitable donations, volunteering, or amiability- and overlook the person’s motivation for doing so.  Quite frankly acts of kindness make a more immediate impact on others and make a person more likeable, but to see and appreciate the fullness of a person’s patience takes time.

To be patient means to be capable and willing to endure.  It's synonymous with characteristics like: calm, composed, easy-going, even-tempered, gentle, imperturbable, lenient, meek, mild, mild-tempered, philosophic(al), quiet, resigned, self-possessed, serene, stoical, tranquil, unruffled, and untiring.  Patience calls for action: accommodate, forgive, indulge, persist, not complain, understand; as well as submission, tolerance, endurance, and long-suffering.

To state the obvious: patience is TOUGH.  Patience is a Godly virtue that requires much self-control in a world that encourages self-indulgence and entitlement with emotions and reactivity.  We quickly label things as impossible, inconceivable, and unforgivable.  Yet the Truth tells us that nothing is impossible with God {Matthew 19:26, Luke 1:37}.  Instead, our limited perspectives make it easier to judge than to take time to understand, and the few of us who have experienced the fullness of forgiveness are quick to forget it in the heat of our emotions.  In a world of mixed messages and bizarre standards; where failure is not accepted in business, but cutting and running from all matter of difficult relationships is the norm; where we’re told to always look out for #1-but be family friendly when it gets you places- patience is difficult to master.  Loving patience requires us to let go of offenses and forget about getting even, but love doesn’t stop at tolerating and persisting under adverse circumstances.  Love is a great multitude of other actions and attitudes worth investigating further.

In closing, as I struggle with this task set before us to love one another as Christ loved us {John 13:34-35}, I'm reminded that it starts with being patient and kind with myself.  It's hard to love others when you don't love yourself.  So if I want to love others better, I'll benefit from being patient with myself: persevering, understanding my limitations, letting go of offenses, forgiving myself for shortcomings, and submitting to the Spirit as I allow God to change my thoughts and actions.

{Next up on my soap box: Love is Kind}