This morning my mind is filled with reflections on sisterhood, sorority, and all it's meant.  Later today I plan to attend the funeral of a sorority alumna.  We only met once, at a sorority event at the FSU Alpha Chi Omega chapter house.  We were active collegiate members of two different chapters, in two different states, in two different eras-but the bonds of national sisterhood brought us together as alumnae.  As the chapter celebrated my and two other girls' engagements, our late sister and I discovered we went to the same church and thereby connected by an even stronger bond.  In my brief meeting and by all accounts, she was a terrific lady and so those of us who can will later pay our respects because if there's anything a sorority should show it's solidarity.

I attended a small private college in North Carolina where sorority recruitment is done in the  "fake break" between January term and spring semester.  I nearly backed out of recruitment all together, but ultimately I did complete the grueling week.  On the third day I asked a young woman in what would later be my sorority a pivotal question.  I wince as I recall how I brazenly asked, "So I do this thing for the next three and a half years, and then what?  What are the benefits after graduation?"  And that's when I learned about alumnae and how no matter where I lived in the States, I would most likely be near an alumnae chapter which meant I would always have connections.  To my freshman self that read "safety, security, home, friendship" no matter where I was.  They had my attention.

My parents were weary of my decision, until I came home wearing this bid day shirt. {Left} I suppose they were reassured that I hadn't joined a cult by the shirt's renouncement of the stereotype that the sorority would try to change me into some perfectionistic clone.  They embraced the individual that was me- a somewhat awkward, idealistic freshman.  They had diversity in intended major, personality, and practically every ethnographic measure.  While they didn't seek to make me a clone, they did change me- for the better.
Through Alpha Chi Omega I met my "Big" and "Little" {sisters} and several other women of faith who were lifelines to me in the years when I stepped away from regular involvement in the church.  I had opportunities to flex leadership skills within a community where I felt safe to explore who I was and wanted to be.

Yes, as a collegiate sorority woman I engaged in a lot of outwardly frivolous activities, but the majority were packed with meaning.  Beyond costume and toga parties, Greek-week dance, step-shows with NPHC, paying for t-shirts that announced I had friends, formals and semi-formals, and arts and crafts projects galore there was also community building, networking, community service, and learning.  So. Much. Learning: learning about how large organizations operate, learning to be a leader in formal and informal ways, learning how to be lead and be part of a team, learning how to support one another, learning financial responsibility, and on and on.

A social psychology professor once pointed out to me {and my class} that in our culture we lack ceremonies that celebrate the commitment of friendships.  But that is what initiation into a sorority {or fraternity} does.  At it's best, it celebrates the commitment to uphold communal values, to protect one another's character, to rejoice with one another, and- in cases such as today- grieve with one another.
For me, choosing Alpha Chi Omega has meant that when I meet alumnae from around the country, women whose collegiate experiences and backgrounds may be vastly different than mine, we will share a bond of common values.  I can, rather reliably, hope to find that at the core of each woman is some amount of ambition, a woman who values community and holds leadership potential, a woman who understands responsibility and loyalty and has interests that expand her personal horizons.  When I moved to Tallahassee, I had no one and nothing, except Alpha Chi Omega alumnae who, sight-unseen, offered to help me get a roommate, job, and any resource I could imagine.  They immediately offered me friendship, involvement, community, and a sense of security and stability.

 As I've "grown up," I've moved away from many of my closest friends in the sorority, primarily those from my new member class.  Even though I've become a "shady sister," one who goes a bit M.I.A., whenever I re-surface and reach out I'm always touched to find that those bonds are still there.  Despite the many miles that now separate us, we still share the laughter and excitement of our milestones as best as we can.  As we hit our mid-twenties and start the backslide to thirty we increasingly rejoice in engagements, marriages, and babies.  My Little and I now live on opposite ends of the east coast, yet we still randomly keep in touch with ideas and memories.  My Big, now expecting her first child, is still a pillar of strength and encouragement whenever we can align our schedules.  And now, I've been adopted by wonderful local Alpha Chi alumnae.  These women inspire me by their commitment and how they balance work, life, and mentoring the current collegiate members.  
I'm blessed to have joined an organization that matched my needs, provided room to grow, and meets my maturing needs.   I'm blessed that when I think about my sorority I'm not just nostalgic for those collegiate years, but also able to consider my participation in the present and future.  I am blessed to be able to celebrate the lives of my sisters and to show our support to the end.

LITB,
e.e.